I never wanted to post this particular poem on blog. But again, that was 7 months back. Most of the time, we all live in the virtual life of ours. Talking to new people, finding new way of conversations, impressing few and blocking few more. One evening I found someone in my life too. She was awfully charming! *grin*



Disguised as dreams, gleaming pair of eyes
You sink for a smile as it soaks into sorcery
Should I say it mesmerizes or shall live with it?

Darken eyelids, dancing curls
Magic look, mystery book
Should I say it mesmerizes or shall live with it?

When million words are said
Wake less vocals are heard
When life awaited for her
Picture was never been blur


Have seen lustrous light, but
not in the night
Have seen hoi polloi, but
not as special as her
Should I say she mesmerizes or shall I live...?


I myself don't know what made me to write these few lines about her. May be her pretty face inspired me to write. As I said, then I never thought of posting it but, today I liked it more. Reason? Looking for reasons is injurious to health...


Thanks for that smile which took away few of my heart beats…


Sayonara!

Few happinesses in life take nothing.May be that is the reason why those are called as priceless ones.

When somebody says, life is a journey or discovery; I think it means nothing but search of all these invaluable happinesses.



I’m pretty fortunate enough to experience some of those moments which are unforgettable and immensely cherished.Im sure there are many more to come.

- A Long drive in Mangalore - Mumbai highway.

- Stopping your vehicle anywhere on the highway between Udupi- Kundapur and take a diversion towards left for around 3 KMs to find a sea shore which is completely lonesome. Sit on seashore and watch setting sun. Nothing can sop up your worries like a sea.

- Go for beach trekking, find an isolated sea shore for camping. Sleep looking at stars with scary, screaky sea.

- Pouring rain and you are driving a jeep on village roads near Kushalnagar, Coorg. (This one was adventurous and most pleasurable journey so far). Hit a coffee estate, walk through the coffee plants, and hope you get an opportunity to sip a fresh cup of coffee which doesn’t have sugar, honey or milk. Aroma is priceless.

- Drive towards western ghat. Pick a hill like Devagiri (Near Ujire) to climb. You know you may face few forest elephants while climbing. But, you want to reach the top of the hill despite being shit scared of every small sound coming from forest. It was funny, exciting and an awesome feeling when you really make it to the top.

- Alone at home? Don’t worry! Pick your favorite recipe from cook book and start preparing it. Invite few friends/or if no one is available, just play your favorite movie and enjoy the food.

- An evening walk towards river side with your loved one.

- Reading your favorite author's book in a really quiet place and finishing it in one bite.

- When electric power goes off in your apartment and everything is calm, playing LR, Hamilton, Bob Marley or any of those amazing soul singers out there is equivalent to meditating.

- Bring smile on someone's face.

- Present a gift to your closed one/friends and give a pleasant surprise. Expression on their face is priceless. Trust me!

- Trying to play a piece of music on your guitar for yourself.

- A phone call to friend whom you never met since you left school. Going back to school is always fun.

- Taking a picture from your camera which fascinates you more than anybody else.

- Most importantly, never forget your good old childhood days. Remembering every one of those pranks, tears, crushes and love will surely bring smile on your face.



My quite contented career, office strategies, agonized plans were not aware about all these things which I did so far. And I’m sure these guys won’t be informed in future either. Its always just those moments which we looked in a different way makes life beautiful.Nothing else.


Be good..So long...

Long night at work
No idea when I fell asleep
Got up with her thoughts as
Her touch wakes me up

I need her for every little thing
She is part of my daily living
She was there in every moments
Ever since I’m on road for my sustenance

We share few truths and faiths
We travelled together for distance
She is going to be there till the end
In this lonely life, she is the only friend

They say she is my partner, and
We are made for each other,
Together we are great to look. I’m insane,
She is HP made and calls herself notebook.

"What is that bothering you so much?". It was my father's voice which brought me back from my thoughts. What was I doing?. I was concentrating at UKG Kid's notebook while he was writing 'vase' in his beautiful hand writing. I had asked him what it means. He said a perfect answer and kept me wondering how intelligent the generation is this. When I looked at my father and before I could say, he said. “Even we used to think when you guys are growing up. How different is this generation from ours”.

I remember one of those seminars where the speaker had mentioned that, once in a every 20 years a new generation will born and a old one will be forgotten. I think that’s so true. I’m a part of one of that revolutionary generation. Eighties (80s). A Special one. You might ask why it is special. Starting from Adam and the Ants transition to punk rock era to the new wave era, It was early 80s a new class had born in India. We called it Middle-Class. A tough class with heck of dreams. Where elders planned for super future for their kids and Kids wanted fly on sky. This could be the last generation to hold last bit of India's history, Ethics and celebration. At least on their Mind.

Why these entire introduction? I was trying to compare knowledge of UKG kid and average kid like me once that was of same age. What he knows today, I learnt in my 5th grade. World has changed in last 20+ years and ready for new generation. One of the backward villages of our country is ready with English Medium schools, Engineering/Medical colleges and Kids who are competitive to face the world.

Over the years, the motto of education has been changed. Remember to ask today's kids after 20 years about their favorite teacher. I don’t think they would even remember. Gone are the days when teacher was an inspirational figure but just not someone who assigns home work every day. Someone who showed what our life would be once we go out of school. We were not prizefighters but called as flowers. They gave us a chance to learn the reality of life from basics we studied in school. When I say basics, it was not just physics, math but also the freedom and confidence to live the life we want to. Today the teaching profession has been changed. Profession has been restricted to text books and assignments.


When we were growing up, there was no LKG/UKG to begin with. I’m sure most of us started our education at home. It was our parents who began with telling stories. Yes! Stories. Something which fascinates me even today. My beloved grandma used to tell stories from Mahabharata and Ramayana. I know the importance of stories. It gives you a miraculous imagination power. Teachers helped to understand few topics saying sub stories related to it. It made studies more interesting. Even today, when I’m on my long drive with family/friends, I discuss stories. It starts from epics to real-life experiences. When I was kid such stories pushed me to read from papers which used to pack some groceries to novels. It indeed helped in shaping my own life.


What today's children missing is the reading ability. How many kids know who is king Parikshit? They are growing up with Computers, Xbox and TV. It’s not only in the case of children from city but from village too. My parents never asked me what I wanted to be when I was growing up. I remember saying them I want to be scientist. I also remember how my friends laughed at me in class 7 when I said that. It was in class 11th; I really started dreaming about career. Until then I enjoyed my life. School life was indeed a golden one. Smiles, Crushes, Play, Healthy competition and achievements. It was fun. I don’t think most of the students today have such luck. Preparation for IIM/IIT starts in LKG itself. I agree the world has changed and you should be on your toe. But, what’s the use when you don’t grow up as a sensible human being. What schools will achieve after producing someone who is selfish to society who hardly respects others. What’s the use of studying in IIM/IIT and having no common sense? What’s the use of driving luxurious cars and littering while parked in traffic?

Its not schools or colleges which make us human but, our own life. India is the only country which has gracious history. History is not to forget but to get inspired from it and learn from it. Someone’s experience is just not someone's experience; someday it may be ours too. Growing up with ethics makes more sense then useless knowledge we have.

Hey..Do remember few stories from history to tell your kids. Trust me, they will learn from it and love it. :)

Sayonara.

Looks like I'm gonna fall in again
Yes I’m gonna enjoy the rain
I’m away to bring the moon
Sorry, everything happened pretty soon

She never danced with this stranger
I couldn’t sing her song 'forever'
Heard life is just a blink away
And she was just a touch away

That smile wasn’t for me, But,
it swept me away
I don’t remember where am I, But
Now it’s not to walk away

Never learnt from the pain
Here I fall in love again
I wanna grow up but not my heart
It’s young and couldn’t resist

[This image here is one of those pages from my diary which was written by someone else..I always cherish this page as it witnessed some of the best moments of my life]

One of those days you wake up thinking I should find someone who loves me the way I wanted, Someone who accepts me the way I'm. One fine morning you have decided that you have found her. You will walk a walk with her, you will talk a talk with her, and you will sing a Song for her. She will smile and you are voodooed forever. She will look into your eyes and you will stop looking at world and you will say Love is blind.

One day you wake up to see you are alone. You had become a vagrant in a wild desert. You will start thinking what, where went wrong? You are hurt, you hit bathroom and cry silently. You will say Love is not blind, it’s brutal.

You are walking down the street and you will hear the song coming from one of the houses. You don’t know what is it but at that moment you liked that particular song. You will go to your place, search for the song, download it and listen to it. Song will be on repeat mode for more than week. Because, you still love that song. Suddenly one day you started feeling that something has lost in this song. You will stop listening to it and search for another one begins.

Remember those days when your Dad/Mom beating you black and blue whenever you did something which you were not suppose to? Hadn’t you thought for even once that, "God, I hate these people, Give me some other Mom or some other Dad whom I saw it in last movie which I watched". I know it’s funny. But, in reality, we realize their love as we grow up. It’s irreplaceable. You won’t get anywhere else in this world. I would like to say that's an Immortal one.


Whatever else which we call it as love is like our love for the song which I mentioned earlier. Nowadays, soon we get exhausted with certain things and it includes love, relationships too. We are really struggling to keep things moving. There is a quote, we can not love and be limited. But, we often limit it as most of the time, 'Unlimited' has come out with different meaning. Of course, you should respect when other person does not like over- possessiveness. After all everybody has their own capacity to accept love. Isn’t it?

I knew 2 of my best friends (Girls) and their dating partners. After 2 years of dating, one married other's boyfriend and other married someone else's boyfriend. I know it’s pretty confusing. Anyway, What I understood is, its not whom you love but it’s with whom you move on in life. We often blame our life for its desire to be comfortable. But, actually it’s us who are looking for a best option without realizing that we lost the 'best' some where in a mid way of life. In fact, we don’t know what is best for us until we live with it. May be because, we are really fast in falling in love, then talking and then meeting forever. I thought the best thing would be, Meet, Talk and then fall in love. I'm sure, you stay with some stranger, far away from world, and you would fall in love with the person. I read somewhere that you would fall in love with your enemy too, if you stay with him/her for few days. You stay alone all your life, you will love yourself more than anyone else in this world.

You may miss people who love you in your life. But, not a chance to love. Its their, forever and a day..

I first saw this video in Zee Kannada channel. The inspiration behind this Patriotic video directed by Alok Shetty is Mahatma's quote Be the change you want to see in the world.I think its indeed a good initiative by Kannada music group in which coming together of some of the famous Kannada singers like B Jayashree, MD Pallavi, Rajesh Krishnan,Hemanth, Avniash Chetti, L N Shastri along with actor Ramesh Aravind for a cause. Music has been composed by young music direcor Ricky Kej.Kaviraj has penned the lyrics.




ಸಾಹಿತ್ಯ:

ಬದಲಾಗುವುದುಈ ಲೋಕ ನೀ ಬದಲಾದರೆ
ಸರಿಯಾಗುವುದು ಈ ಸಮಾಜ ನೀ ಮೊದಲಾದರೆ
ನವ ಭಾರತವ ಕಟ್ಟುವ ಆಣೆಯ ಮಾಡೋಣ
ಜನ ಗಣ ಮನ ಮೊಳಗಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲೆಡೆ ಇಂದು

ತುಂಬು ಪ್ರತಿ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ ಹೊಸ ಬಣ್ಣವ
ತುಂಬು ಪ್ರತಿ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಛಲ ಬಲ ಸ್ಥೈರ್ಯವ

ಜನ ಗಣ ಮನ ಮೊಳಗಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲೆಡೆ ಇಂದು
ಜನ ಜನಗಳ ಮನ ಸಮ್ಮೇಳಗೊಳಲಿ ಇಂದು

ತುಂಬು ಪ್ರತಿ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ ಹೊಸ ಬಣ್ಣವ
ತುಂಬು ಪ್ರತಿ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಛಲ ಬಲ ಸ್ಥೈರ್ಯವ-2

ಬದಲಾಗುವುದುಈ ಲೋಕ ನೀ ಬದಲಾದರೆ
ಸರಿಯಾಗುವುದು ಸಮಾಜ ನೀ ಮೊದಲಾದರೆ

ನವ ಭಾರತ ಇಂದು ಕಟ್ಟುವ ಆಣೆಯ ನೀ ಮಾಡು
ಹೊಸದೆ ಸಂವಸ್ಥರ ಶುರುವಾಗುವುದು ನೀ ನೋಡು

ತುಂಬು ಪ್ರತಿ ಮನಸಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ ಹೊಸ ಬಣ್ಣವ
ತುಂಬು ಪ್ರತಿ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಛಲ ಬಲ ಸ್ಥೈರ್ಯವ

ಜೈ ಹಿಂದ್!


Following is the raw translation of lyrics in English

This world will change if you change yourself
This society will flourish if you lead the task
Let’s promise to build a new India
Let 'Jana' gana mana reverberate all around


Put new colors in every mind
Inspire every heart for courage, self-belief

Let 'Jana' gana mana reverberate all around
Let everybody come together

Jai Hind!

Just like the way Chrsitopher Gardner says, "This part of my life... this part right here? This part is called "Joyousness”. It was an emotion of great happiness.I remember growing up in small 1BHK house in Dharmasthala with my parents and kid sister.It was a typical middle-class life. When I say 'Middlie-Class' life; it was typical 80's middle class life. There wasn’t "today's" upper middle class.Our every day was planned and every night was gratifying. This is the place where dreams are born.Trust me; for poor, doesn’t have time to dream, for rich, doesn’t need a dream. A dream of being successful can only be seen next to middle-class man's bed.

But,why I'm I talking all those things over here right now? I haven’t achieved anything successful yet which I'm really in process of dreaming now.But, I think I have done something which was dreamt by someone else and I just helped him to achieve it. What I have got is something which can not be explained.As Garth Brooks says, “You aren’t wealthy until you have something money can’t buy".Its True.

My dad is always been a source of inspiration.Not because we always had a conversation or discussion. No, he inspired me because he respected every damn decision I had taken in my life.He never questioned my decision ever since I started in standard 8th to till date.He believed in me. He allowed me to learn from my mistakes.This is something which I never told him and I'm really grateful for being reason behind what I'm today.We all have a dream and most of the time we don’t want to share it with everybody even if the person is close enough.My dad had a dream of flying in an air-plane at least once in his life time. For a self made, middle-class man like him it was pretty costly dream. Just like any other burgher, hemight have postponed it for his son's life time.In fact he did and obviously I wasn’t aware of it.I have my own kind of affection towards my family. I always believed that there is nothing can stand by you during your bad times except your family.Family was always been a first priority.So, this day I decided take my dad in an air-plane.

I remember how anxious I was on my first day in school, or in college or at work place.Everywhere, every time it was the same expression.I could see it on his face when we reached airport.When we sat inside, first thing he asked, "That’s it? This is how the inside of an air-plane looks like?" I said, “Yes”. The expression and emotions on his face, was indefinable.When we were flying high, he was lost in the clouds and breathtakingly beautiful view of earth from top. He turned to me and said, "Thanks, this one is going to be very memorable”.I want to say, just like the way Chrsitopher Gardner says, "This part of my life... this part right here? This part is called "Joyousness".

Date- 25th Jan 2009
Day - Sunday
Time- Around 4.30 in the evening
Place- Bus Station,Koyambedu,Chennai

I was on my lonely excursion to Central-Northern Tamil Nadu which included former French colony Pondicherry. This trip was good as It went as per my planned schedule. Exciting thing happened in trip was I picked up every possible transport in India to travel. Now the final destination is back home (Bangalore).I decided to take city bus to Chennai via ECR (East Coast Road) and then Volvo to Bangalore.

As usual, I was pretty early to reach the place. I hardly know anybody in Chennai and almost 4 hours left to start the journey. So, I started reading then newly bought book, Mr.Tarun Tejpal's ' The Story of my Assassins’. I had read his ‘The Alchemy of Desire’ which I thought a really a nice book. I had just finished 6 pages, by then an elderly,well dressed gentleman who was in his late 60s came and sat next to me. I do have a habit of dragging strangers to conversation whenever I meet them while travelling. But, this time I was so engrossed with the book that for few minutes I didn’t realize who is sitting next to me in that iron bench. While turning pages, I just looked at the person sitting next to me and just smiled. Later I was back into reading. Few minutes Later… [Conversation was in English]

He: What book is this, [a quick question from that person with a smile on his face]
I said, it’s a novel

He: Oh ok. Novel? Very good. So you read novels haan?
I said, Yeah, I do

He: By the way, I'm MR...[I think the name is not important here] A retired teacher
Myself: Hello, I'm Manoj, I work for software company in Bangalore

He: Oh! Thats very nice. Who is this author?
Myself: Tarun Tejpal

He: Famous writer?
Myself: Yeah! he is the editor of Weekly magazine Tahelka .You must've heard about him.

He: Oh! No..I dont
Myself: Ok [I smiled; I was desperate to read the book, I was not really interested in conversation]


He: So, You are software engineer haan? You must be earning a lot then. Right Mr.manoj?

[Now that’s embarrassing. I always hated when people asked how much you earn or anything related to it. I always thought, its not how much you earn, its at the end of the day how much you save..anyways]

I just smiled and said nothing much! But its ok..,I can live

He: I know you must be earning a lot.
[I didn’t answer]

He picked some other general things and obligated me to talk. At one point of time..

He: I'm going to 'this’'[let me not mention it here] particular hospital to see my daughter. She is sick and in very serious condition. Few lacs spent on her treatment. I’m totally broke now. There is not much facility for poor people from govt.

I just looked at him. I didn’t know what to say.

He: Now I'm going to 'this' particular place and I'm short of money. Could you please give me some money Mr.Manoj?

I realized that 40 mins longer conversation has come to its end.

I told him, Sir, You said you are retired teacher, I respect you But, this is neither expected nor excusable. There must be some other way to earn money or arrange it.

It was clearly visible that he was hurt. He tried to convince me but I was unaffected for a long time. It was not that I never wanted to help him. But, the situation where you are pushed at that time is what hurts you. Later I did give him some money and he left the place. Myself or most of us never asked where the money goes when we donate a part of our earnings towards any NGOs.It may be there source of living. But, we still believe that it reaches to the concerned people.

We live in a country which has rich powerful barons, lower middle cast colonial which is further divided into communities. We have been dealing with the statuses,prestiges etc.Its not that we are facing financial crisis, Its about transparency. ‘Aam aadmi' hardly understand the 'percentage' growth which are spoken by Finance minister or any Economical Analyst. He is just bothered about his daily bread. Its not that we don’t have opportunity, it’s about how well we use it. We have more resources than any other country in the world. But, how well we are using it? At individual level, Its not about how we live here, It’s about how honest we are.

The person I met might be saying the truth, but, how can I trust him? I agree when a person keeps his self-respect on stake, you got to believe. I did. I may acted stupid, but there is no justification for everything you do. I always believed that life is a journey, its a search and we all search for happiness. Some times, its just a pursuit of 'alive'ness!

Its been really long since I found time for myself to write something down. There was lot running inside my mind yet busy with profession.I can hardly give up my passion too. So, here are quick few lines.By the way, I'm on short excursions and lot to update.Very soon..

It was always wonderful to be with you,
Remember those little steps down the street.
Walking without holding hands,
Mesmerizing myself with your fragrance


Its alright we are not together.
I'm not looking for another chance.
Its understood when you walked away,
Nobody is perfect, except the time we spent.

Image: Credit